The old byke, to celebrate your birthday I threw it away!


I have lost notion of time, I came here at 7pm and I have cycled around the park  for a few hours.

It is so dark and silent that I imagine it’s well past 11 o’clock.

There isn’t a  single soul around,  just me and the deep darkness of the forest.

I should be afraid of being attacked  by a stranger, I should be afraid of catching a cold

in this miserable freezing rain, or maybe I should be afraid  of running into a herd of deer

and colliding with them. In my attempts to avoid them, I would probably swerve and fall

onto the mud. What if something bad happens to me tonight?  Would it matter anyway? 

Not to me, all I care right now is to listen to ‘Dig’ again and again on my  MP3, 

and continue cycling around in circles. In my own selfish way, I forget that there are

people waiting at home for me, worrying, wondering where I am. I can’t think straight, 

my mind is foggy, my hands ache from  holding the bicycle handles, the cold air

hurts my lungs but I feel no pain.  I’m numb from within,  numb from without.

Have I stopped crying? It’s hard to tell with this rain. I must have been  

crying for hours  for I don’t know when the rain started to fall on my face. 

It has been  wet for a long time,  as well as my hair and all my clothes.

Torrential winter rain has no mercy  when it falls on warm blooded animals.

But there isn’t anyone around to suffer the cruelty  of the March rain  

with me tonight. The rabbits have long gone, they are safe in their burrows.

Just me, and the  sound of the silence. Me, and the saltiness of my tears,

me, and the chill of my bones.  Can’t see the stars tonight, that is a good

thing, really. I don’t want  to read their writing on the sky. The only 

witnesses of what once was. Happy Birthday tomorrow!



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